John's

John's is a bar in Qark."John’s is a good bar to hit up if you’re trying to transmute gold into good stories and bad headaches. He’s got liquor from all around, stuff I ain’t never heard of and I don’t even try to pronounce. Elvish spirits that make you sing better, Half-Elvish spirits that make you think you sing better, you name it. If you’re lucky, he’ll have some Hobbit weed—on a good night, the place is so full of smoke you can’t see the rafters. Some folks get all flustered and sweaty while they’re tending bar, but John never seems to have trouble. Your drink stays fresh, and he’s telling bawdy stories and doling out sage advice all the while. Nobody but lowlives drink at John’s (or most places in Qark, at that) but John makes everybody feel classy—as long as their gold don’t run out. People call ol’ John “Faerie John” sometimes, which makes him smile. I see it, though: his place has some charms. Never gets touched by the floods, never gets shaken down by roughnecks, I don’t think I’ve ever even seen anybody break a glass in the place. Not even me! I’m in the double digits over at Kate’s. Once I had a guy swear that he was playing cards at John’s and when everybody laid down their hands, they counted six aces. Could just be bad cheating, but it could be fair folk shit, too. Not that it matters—a good bar’s a good bar. You go around accusing good bartenders of being interlopers from the fae realm, everybody loses out. Better to mind your own and enjoy your drink."

- Owain Qark